A Better Offer

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I just realized the minimum I’ve worked at a company was a full year and even so, I often leave due to a change of location or some other external factor beyond my control. I’m typically more longterm oriented but this is not what’s always obtainable. People often accept a job offer because it’s the best on the table and then while at it, they still actively search for better offers and make a quick switch the moment they get one. That’s of course, not a bad idea. It seems logical right? What’s totally illogical and absurd is taking this ‘best offer’ attitude into your relationships as well. 

You meet someone who seems perfect, well, based on all the cards you have on your table at the moment, they’re the very best offer. No, really, a little too good to be true; and then you take a leap, maybe even get married because why not? After all, there’s no one in the world (at least no one you’ve met so far) who’s better than this person. Maybe it’s the way they look, the way they cook, talk, walk, pray, play; you know, all the little things here and there that mean so much to you yenyenyen. Hold on, this is going somewhere. There’s a but. There always is.

BUT what happens when you meet someone who presents every single thing your partner offers and so much more? Something you never even imagined was obtainable? What now? Do you make a quick switch just like you did with your last job? Well, if this scenario never really crossed your mind, let me put it to you that there’s someone, actually, there are so many people who are so much more good looking, smarter, funnier, more accomplished, more prayerful, kinder, cook better, talk better, play more and basically beats your partner in every attribute and guess what? They are single and they are also as interested in you as your partner is. Do you now feel short-changed?

You certainly shouldn’t because as much as love is a feeling, it’s also a deliberate choice. It’s an ‘I see where you’re going and I whole-heartedly choose to walk with you’ thing and not a ‘you’re the best card on my table at the moment’ game. It’s an ‘I see all these others and I know for sure that many more will come in the future but I choose you over and over again and come what may, I’ll still choose you’ affirmation.

Oftentimes, people end up being unfaithful to their partners, not just because they lack self-control but because they feel short-changed. A relationship is not a career. It’s a conscious and consistent choice. So while the words ‘I love you’ sound really nice, the words ‘I choose you’ make all the difference. You love your job too but you still go for other offers; don’t you?

I’m anticipating your comments and questions as always 🙂

This Post Has 14 Comments

  1. Ety

    Hi Kachi….. I love how consistent you are about your write-ups, it’s inspiring…keep it up girl……
    Plus it’s definitely about the choice… Because emotions are fleeting..
    Thanks for sharing

    1. Dikachi

      Well said, Ety! Also, thanks for the kind words and for being a fervent reader of my blog!

  2. Taslim Okunola

    Yeah. This is important. Loyalty can be misplaced when it comes to work, you’ll burn a few bridges and everyone will be okay las las. With love and romantic relationships, it’s a deeper commitment. It’s like a family-type of commitment. In fact, it is a family commitment when you get married. You don’t see a fantastic friend and dump your siblings for them. You don’t replace family members. It’s a longstanding commitment beyond the perfection.

    1. Dikachi

      Perfectly put! I absolutely love the sibling analogy. Forever should always be the goal.

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