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The best time to read ‘lean in’ by Sheryl Sandberg was in March 2013; immediately the book was first published. The second-best time is NOW. However, you may be way too busy to add an under-200 paged book to your overflowing to-do list at moment; I totally get that so I created this excerpted article for you. There’s too much to learn from lean in but I’ll keep this as short as possible hoping that the five minutes you spend on this article will be enough to inspire you to make out time to actually read the book! Here we go:

#1: I wish I were strong enough to ignore what others say, but experience tells me I often can’t. Allowing myself to feel upset, even really upset, and then move on- that’s something I can do

We all have those friends who always begin and end with the “shake it off” advice. That’s a clear indication that they have no idea how you feel. No doubt they mean well for you and want you to be happy but attempting to shake off every hurtful feeling often leaves you even more broken. First, let it get to you; then let it get through you. Your ability to feel hurt and express it doesn’t make you a weaker person. It only makes you what you are: HUMAN. The only thing you need to work on is shrinking the timeframe between when it gets to you and when it gets through you. From personal experience, I know that that’s something we can all deliberately do.

#2: The cost of stability is often diminished opportunities for growth

Show me a person with a stable life and I’ll show you a stagnant human who only successfully installed waterbeds in their comfort zone. The fact that you’re anxious to solve a different problem every day only means that you’re eager to grow. Stagnation is the bitter price for stability and that’s not something anyone should be able to afford.

#3: She performed extraordinarily well in all of these very different roles, not just because she is uniquely talented but because she is always learning

According to the book ‘outliers’ by Malcolm Gladwell, experts put in at least 10,000 hours of practice & learning before they become experts. Often times, these hours are put in subconsciously every time you ask for an opinion or a clarification, every time you dive into the internet (including social media) to find out about the recent happenings on a topic (or a hashtag) that excites you, you’re subconsciously feeding your time into the 10,000 hour expert requirement. If you think about that now, what do you think you’re becoming an expert in? Mathematics? Maybe not!

#4: Maternal gatekeeping

The book rightly focused on women but my personal experience with ‘maternal’ gatekeeping was with a man. I grew to absolutely love Indian food in the last couple of months because I had a great Indian friend who seemingly enjoyed cooking and made an Indian meal for me every single time he visited (which was often). During the initial cooking sessions, I’d make an attempt to assist but he’d jokingly criticize my methods so I left the entire kitchen for him. When he left for another country, it took me an entire month to make a meal for myself! Often times, people complain about being abandoned to take up tasks that should naturally be shared. Perhaps a chore in the house or a project at work but the problem is that you make others feel they would never be as effective as you, no matter how hard they tried. The moment your actions send out such a message, be rest assured that you’ll keep handling the task alone for a really really long time!

#5: Those of us who are different often need to remind people to treat us equally

This statement was made by an African-American man who was different by colour, to a woman who was different by gender. Imagine being different by both your colour and your gender; tragic? Not quite! We cannot change what we are unaware of and once we are aware, we cannot help but change. So go ahead and remind people on every train, every bus and in every supermarket that you need to be treated equally if awareness is all it takes. I really hope that it is!

#6: What would you do if you were not afraid?

Or rather; what are you afraid of? Rejection? Because apparently, that’s every millennial’s biggest problem. Yes, I know it hurts like hell but I think a good way out is to imagine a worst-case scenario for each hurdle and then take a deep breath and go for it. This is easier typed than done but trust me, most of the words on this website are from the deepest zones of personal experience.

This is much longer than expected so I’ll stop here but trust me, I had so much more to write. I am not consistent with inspirational books but lean-in changed my entire orientation about life and my relationships with people. I really hope that you are able to read the book and let me know what you think.

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