“Go home, Ni**a!” some guy yelled as he drove by us one afternoon. Jude and I were taking our daily fine-weather walks to finally explore the area we lived, almost two years after moving there. We were often couch potatoes, enjoying the comfort of our four white walls and the environment barely motivated us to adjust our lifestyle. That summer though, I had the goal of getting thousands of steps in every day. What I didn’t envision, was getting sent “back home”.
I recently moved to southern Germany after over five years of living in the East. While I had my fair share of racist experiences, some worse than Mr. Yeller driving by, more often than not, it did feel like home. I was fortunate enough to work with amazing people and for every not-so-nice person I met, dozens of good people crossed my path.
But with each unpleasant experience, I grew a thick skin, albeit the wrong kind. I started accepting and often excusing wrong behaviour so much that it almost became the standard.
Since we moved to this new city, we have been met with constant kindness and felt a strong sense of belonging. It’s been weeks now, and with every encounter, I realise how much impact small gestures can make.
Sometimes, toxic environments — whether in our homes, relationships, jobs, or classrooms — persist not just because people are bad, but also because we accept and excuse these behaviours. If everyone left a toxic environment as soon as they perceived it to be so, such environments would barely exist. While relocation can be a daunting task, I’m thinking out loud about other areas of life where we can take quicker actions, and how often we persevere unnecessarily because we lack better examples. I hope this article reminds you that you are worth more than negative words and actions you don’t have to make do with any of it.
